I don't know why I don't like to relax.
There's always this strange feeling within me like something isn't right when I do not expend my energy for the day. Though it's even more strange when I do and yet I can't seem to calm down. Most people would assume I have some disorder, like ADHD... Yet that's so far from the truth, as I am not overwhelmed physiologically, I am overwhelmed mentally in the sense that I lose my ability to focus or be creative.
A critical process for me, I am a kinesthetic, intrapersonal intuitive. The feeling of something not being right means that something MUST not be right.
Today is a good example of the bizarre nature of my existence.
I read my horoscope, the one for Facebook that I usually use, and I noticed it point out that 11am would be my lucky time of day and that my mood is aggressive.
It spoke heavy about me tackling a career goal also; which is exactly how it ended up... Which I noticed only much after the fact. Something about my constant need to exercise, refuse eating and spend the day studying for a test let me know that I was indeed.... Following the pattern of the stars.
I'm not one for believing in superstition but I am certainly not blind to consistencies.
There is no reason that I have to feel like there is constantly something to do. Yet if I try to take the approach of just relaxing, I become so lethargic that I go crazy in my head about what I SHOULD be doing. As inevitability must have it, I end up doing something anyways.
For the last week now I have been spending more time concentrating on getting back into my routine. I haven't found much wrong with it other than my frequency of attention to it dropping. I also noticed that as I am trying to get back into the routines that the bigger thing making it hard for me is eating.
I don't understand how it is that I need so little and can go so far... But I figure that's the true nature of stamina. The kind where you aren't constantly fighting for spacial skills as if you are falling to sleep.
I could stay up for hours just creating ideas.... Maybe the proper way to put it is that I could live in my dream world forever? Except.... Not sleeping.
So let us draw a conclusion from this that isn't centered around myself.
My conclusion about relaxing in general is that it's like boredom. We humans are just not made to handle boredom well... We end up becoming unhealthy because of being idle. It's a testament to the true nature of perpetual motion within the human structure. Each system is somehow interconnected and each one has an intrinsically complicated role in driving all total functions. Though the most impressive one is creativity in my own opinion.
Whatever is the best time of day seems like the point you shouldn't put your effort into. You should let that be your moment of just... Flowing with the current of your energy. But to fight the lethargic idleness which handicaps human genius, we should try to keep busy when we want to relax.
I don't mean to push ourselves beyond limits... I simply mean to be reasonable about resting and utilizing natural energy.
